Inside Day
I was sick! We all were--baby and the husband, too. Yes, they were having a tough time, but as always, when blog post is rumbling, it is all about me. Confined to my home due to illness, I felt myself in familiar territory. So. I like my job pretty well, but like most people, an unexpected day off is a good thing, right?
I know I've mentioned not having enough time to do my job as adequately as I should (or could if I were willing to work more hours) before. When I arrive at work, I check my many messages, my email, and then, like whirling dervish, I am off. I am either seeing patients, charting or on the phone all day. I feel like I blink and it is 5pm and I am desperately trying to leave with notes unwritten, phone calls still to be made and "sign-out" to my colleague undone. But whatever, I get out on time because it's time to see my guy. The long point is that my day goes by very quickly.
First the husband was sick. Sore throat. Yuck. It seemed like he was sick for days and days on end. Then I got it. Mine was a sore throat/cough combo. Then baby. The poor little guy had a sore throat/cough/fever mix. Then me again. Fever Sunday night. Fever Monday morning. I stomped and huffed. Finally, in a weirdly primly way, I said, "That is it! I will not feel this way anymore!" I called in sick. I called the nanny and said, "Don't come!" I decided to have a mommy/baby INSIDE day. We would nap, play, eat and hang inside all day. By the end of this day of rest we would become better. I was kind of happy not to have to deal with the hustle of work. It was an unexpected day off.
By 3pm I was so insane with boredom that I said very loudly, "I wish I were at work." WHAT??! It's not that I don't love the bonding with the baby. But, you see, usually my baby days I feel good. We do stuff. We go to the park. We go on walks. We drink caffeine. On our sick day, he was cranky--probably bored, too. How many times can you play peek-a-boo, really? I felt like shit and and I was just so…so having a hard time sitting around all day (especially if you have a no TV rule like we do)....HEY! Wait a minute?! Maybe it was so hard to sit around because I was having some sort of traumatic memory that makes sitting around extra hard for me.
The point of this story (sorry, I am two glasses of wine into my evening) is, I thank God that I am not on bed rest anymore and that I have such a wonderful baby who makes me so sublimely happy. I was all complainly about being tired from my workdays, but a taste of the couch put some perspective back into my life. I am so so so so so so s so so so so lucky to have such a wonderful boy and such a wonderful husband. And even though I am ashamed to admit that INSIDE day was harder in some ways than being at work (By the way, it was a success. We got better), I will say that it truly does make me love how happy all my days are (as opposed to how unhappy they were). And I am very much looking forward to my day off on Memorial Day--blue sky and all.
posted by KMW @ 7:56 PM
2 Comments:
I'm sorry you guys were sick! (But glad it gave you a chance to come back to the blog!!) Glad to hear you're feeling better. I'm so looking forward to this LOOONG weekend.
This is off topic but I can't find an e-mail address to send this privately.
In early October 2005, I lost my son at 19.5 weeks. The cause was presumed to be an "incompetent cervix" and said to possibly have been worsened by my first miscarriage (causes unknown but followed by a d&c) in 1999.
I was told any future pregnancy would be considered "high risk" and I would need a cerclage.
Here is it, May 2007, and as much as my husband and I want children .. I have been terrified of getting pregnant. The procedure is scary enough on its own, certainly, but it's the fear of going through yet another loss that has held me back.
We've been very careful and yet sometimes it seems fate plays a hand. Careful isn't careful enough if ... well ... if careful breaks. So I seem to have gotten myself pregnant.
In my search for information for, what is no longer just a possibility but a reality, I have found some scary as well as inspirational text.
Your blog came up in one of those searches.
I've had a blog. It was a personal, non-specific, sort of blog from 2000-2005 ... my last post documenting the loss of my baby. I know I started this hobby/project/idea with the hopes being heard by someone that could relate to my life. I wanted people to get to know me, albeit from a distance.
I'd like to take a moment to thank you for sharing your fears, hopes, worries, complaints, experiences, and successes along the way. It's been inspirational. It's given me hope.
So, thank you.
Post a Comment
<< Home