Denial

My name is KMW and I have a bum cervix. Saying it out loud is the first step, yes? I delude myself that my cervix issues are only in the world because of the twins--since multiples are so risky in general. The problem is the doctors keep on telling me otherwise. Seems my cervix is already on the "short side of normal" and that whatever part of it is on the outside of my anatomy is practically non-existent. So I met with a specialist who apparently has perfected a procedure that is more invasive than a regular cerclage, but should do the trick. Remember my last preventive cerclage and my useless stitches? I now understand that I hardly had any cervix them for them to get the stitches around in the first place, which is why they slipped so easily. This guy's version allows them to get "under my bladder" and put the stitch way up high. It is not quite as serious as doing a transabdominal cerclage (if you don't know what it is, I can't bother explaining, but you can read Sarah's blog to find out). He says that they'll have to continue to monitor and they won't do bedrest unless it is indicated, and while he did say I should have a short threshhold to stop work, he also said that I can plan on being back at my job the Monday after the surgery--which is next Wednesday.

ANYHOO, the hardest part about this stuff this time around is not worrying about all this cervix stuff(at least not so far), it's that they told me I cannot pick up Quinn. Ug. It breaks my heart (not to mention the bank since we're hiring the nanny full time now) when he lifts his arms to be picked up and looks at me with his big eyes. I get on the floor, give him a hug and say "Mommy can't lift you up now, but I can give you a big hug." He starts communicating in no uncertain terms that this floor hug is NOT what he meant.

Funny that I am posting regularly again now that I can talk about myself all the time. While I like my mommy posts, it did start as a pregnancy blog....