My Cerclage

In September 2005, I was pregnant with twin girls. I lost my pregnancy at 19 weeks apparently due to my "incompetent cervix." I became pregnant again and wrote all about it on this blog. I now have a wonderful son. Since bed rest, anxiety and cerclage were so much fun, I've decided to do it all again.....

Monday, March 09, 2009

The Good and the Bad and the Ugly

Here is my latest observation about my family life. When we are all running on all cylinders, it is all really good. It is busy, and it feels like it is just barely doable, but we do and we do more than good. We do great. The kids are well, my job/family balance is where I want it to be, my marriage is attended too through adult time with the help of grandparents and hired babysitters. Movies are even making their appearance again (I LOVE movies. Going to the movies is one of my favorite things to do, and I am glad to see this option creeping back into my world).

But when something is off, even off just a little bit, we all go to the dark side. Take last week, for a random example. I was geared to take my final licensing exam(Passed! Finally!),I felt stressed and had trouble sleeping. As a result, I got a big cold and stopped sleeping again so I could have hacking coughing fits at night. Add my first reason for not sleeping to my second and images of failing my exam due to bronchitis permeated my unsleeping brain. Because of my apparent inability to function due to the aforementioned medical and emotional issues, the husband was waking up with the little ones early in the morning, since dragging my sorry ass out of bed was not happening. The husband became all run-down too and we were all snappy snappy with each other, “I’m so tired” “No. I’M so tired.” “I do so much” “Not as much as me!” and on and on. I mean really, we both do so much and we both want someone to rub us and tell us how great we are, but that person is too busy with so much to do that everyone feels unappreciated.

All is well again. The husband and I had a gooey love fest, “You’re so great!” “No you are the one who is sooo great!” My cough has faded to the background. Husband doesn't have to take care of me acting like a child (I get a little needy when I am sick) or soley attend to the real children in the AM. I passed the exam. Quinn got into pre-school (yay!) and I am here able to process what the hell happened. Can a little stress and a cold derail my family so much that we feel stressed and grumpy for 5 days? Well…sort of these days. Yes, I think. I am always close to running on empty; I just don’t have option anymore for colds and added stress.

But they come. I hope to deal a little better in the future!


Blogger Melissa said...

so fun to hang with you and kiddos. it's eerie how similarly these things go down for those of us with kids and husbands and jobs and selves to tend to. . .i feel you and more importantly, congratulate you on your newly licensed-ness!!! yay!

4:25 PM  
Blogger Alice said...

Congrats on passing! I knew you would, you ARE both awesome and do so much.

5:59 PM  

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