My Cerclage

In September 2005, I was pregnant with twin girls. I lost my pregnancy at 19 weeks apparently due to my "incompetent cervix." I became pregnant again and wrote all about it on this blog. I now have a wonderful son. Since bed rest, anxiety and cerclage were so much fun, I've decided to do it all again.....

Saturday, August 22, 2009

C'mere You Big 3 Year Old!

Yesterday Q turned 3 years old. Today at his birthday party someone asked me if I was sad that he was 3. I said, no. Why? Should I be? And my friend said something about how the kids are just growing so fast. Which, I admit, did make me pause for a moment even as I told her that I hadn’t thought of it that way.

When I think about the pregnancy we lost, and how still, it is the hardest thing I have ever been through in my entire life, I am able to appreciate how happy I am now. And when I think about my pregnancy with this little boy and how much anxiety, hope, fear all the rest (totally chronicled on this blog) we went through, I have to take a moment to realize how lucky we are to be here. And, of course, baby O is part of everything now too. Little miss independent is showcasing her skills as a world leader, while my Q, my little man, is quietly waging his own happy (less loud) confidence on everyone he meets. So, of course, once I thought of all of this I admitted to myself that in my effort to survive 2 small children, work and marriage and all the rest, I might not stop to appreciate that it IS going so fast, and these moments are all so meaningful and fleeting.

Of course after this thought process, I ran over to Q and grabbed him for many unsolicited hugs and kisses while he, of course, squirmed away--Like SUCH a Very Big Boy.

Happy 3 years old.


Blogger Monica H said...

Happy 3rd to your boy Q. reflection is a beautiful thing.

12:41 AM  
Blogger Melissa said...

Hooray for big boys, girls and reflection. And new posts.

8:55 AM  
Blogger Alice said...

Yay! Happy birthday Q! They are both such big beautiful amazing children. Love you guys.
and yes, we always want more posts!

10:41 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

7:38 PM  
Blogger Swaze said...

I showed this to my wife who lost her twins in october 2009 due to an IC. Your blog has inspired me to create my own to document her new pregnancy and her cerclage process. Hopefully we will have a good outcome as well.

1:04 PM  
Anonymous Ash said...

Happy B'day to your baby boy. I just started reading your blog from Feb 2006 as I was searching for info on Cerclage as I was recently diagnosed with Incompetent Cervix at 14 weeks and miscarried the baby.

I can tell you that after reading your blog it gives me a little courage / hope to think about getting pregnant again and may be I can carry a baby full term.


3:41 PM  
Blogger Anagha Mudigonda said...

I just found your blog and read your early posts.Right now I am at the part when Q is born and you talk about your first anniversary loosing the twins.
I hope you don't mind being reminded about it you see this.
I lost a boy at 21 weeks because of cervical incompetence too. My experience was much like yours. I had a few hours in between when I found out about the cervical incompetence and when we lost him.
Two years later, after having "tried" for almost a year I found out we were pregnant again today !
I am having a surreal out of body day today when everything feels unreal and illusionary !

Thank You for writing all your thoughts. Years later when you have completely moved on .. forgotten almost about the bed rest and things .. they help someone like me .. just embarking on this journey.


8:54 AM  
Blogger Steph said...

Congratulations on your new baby and your beautiful babies. I, too, have an incompetent cervix and have four healthy children. I was a lucky one - my IC was caught at 19 weeks with our 2nd child. I had an emergent cerclage with her, and then went on to have two preventative cerclages with baby 3 and 4.

I also blog about my experiences with IC at

Good luck with the remainder of your pregnancy!


12:38 PM  
Anonymous Nora said...

Thank you so much for keeping this blog up. I've gone through it several times over the last few years, after losing a daughter to incompetent cervix and then having a second second trimester loss. Now, we're expecting a full-term baby any day (thanks to a cerclage!). It was refreshing to read through a person's experience start to "finish," especially as I could relate to many of your experiences. I needed to know that others made it though after suffering a loss from cervical incompetence. I wanted to know one (luckily a liberal reader with similar sentiments regarding childbirth) person's point of view. Please know that your writing is appreciated and that it's been a great resource for me. Thank you.

10:31 AM  

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