My Cerclage

In September 2005, I was pregnant with twin girls. I lost my pregnancy at 19 weeks apparently due to my "incompetent cervix." I became pregnant again and wrote all about it on this blog. I now have a wonderful son. Since bed rest, anxiety and cerclage were so much fun, I've decided to do it all again.....

Saturday, October 20, 2007

My Cerclage, Take 2

Remember the birth of this blog? The very first My Cerclage post?? What fun getting that cerclage was. Wow. I wish I could do something like that again, because it was awesome! Oh, that's right. I did it again last week, and it sucked just as much as last time (Do you hear my sarcasm? Do you??) I hate the way doctor’s talk about preventive cerclages--they’re all “minor procedure” blah blah blah. I think I must be world's biggest wuss, because AGAIN, I felt all sorts of pain when they went to work. Even with my lower half numbed with a spinal anesthesia. Admittedly, it was a much more invasive procedure this time. They actually cut tissue and put the stitch way higher "half inside, half out." I have stitches in addition to The stitch. In any case, I do trust “Mr. Cerclage” (he called himself that!) and feel like his reputation as expert is well deserved, but STILL.

At our follow-up appointment after surgery, I expected him to be all "whatever you want" about my activity. This expectation was born from knowing my beloved Peri (who we still are seeing) from last time was so conservative, and from my denial, which I also love and think protects me very much from massive breakdown. So you can imagine my surprise when I found myself in a major negotiation with this guy about my work schedule, my work day and my general activity. The conversation came to an abrupt halt when he said, "Look, I don't want to see this baby in a plastic box when it’s born. The rest, to me, is background noise." What am I to say to that? I was all, "Um. Yes Sir. That makes sense to me, too. I'll do whatever we need to do to ensure that won't happen."

It is so much better than last time, I feel like I really can't complain. But it is so much worse than last week , I still find myself bitter. I love my walks with Quinn and I am dreading the conversation about my work schedule with my employers. But geez. At least I am talking about my work schedule rather than telling them I'm not working at all. What, really, do I have to complain about?

5 Comments:

Blogger sarah said...

ugh. It's so frustrating to give up the normalcy of life, I know. It was easy for me the first time b/c I was so shocked and scared--I was content to just lie there if that's what they told me I had to do. I can imagine it will be so much harder next time around. ((((hugs))))

6:08 PM  
Blogger Alice said...

There's so much to complain about, where to begin! Just let it out. We're here to back you up.
xox
A

7:13 PM  
Blogger Becci said...

Congratulations! And I'm sorry I didn't see this sooner. We're just muddling through ttc again and it sucks big time. Guess that's part of the reason I've been away so much.

2:45 PM  
Blogger Pregosaurus said...

I just found your blog and I have been reading it for almost an hour! :) Your story has given me such strength. I lost twins (boy and girl) last November 12th due to IC and am now pregnant again :) I just had my first appt with my OB yesterday and he confirmed I will definately need a cerclage and most likely bed rest. Hopefully my bed rest will be like yours was, I mean at home, (I'm sure that's shocking to hear) because my last one was 6 weeks in the hospital. 2 cerclages, 2 spinal blocks, 4 epiderals and millions of hospital meals later I still lost them at 24 weeks. I go for my cerclage in December, conveniently on my birthday, and hope everything goes as well as it did with Quinn. :) Good luck and complain all ya want!! I'm sure you have lots of us here to complain right along with you :)

4:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dr. Cerclage, huh? Did he also say, "I am the hammer to the nail that is the problem of cerclage"? I love that man. Seriously. I couldn't have asked for a better shepherd through the cerclage process (S. is a happy, healthy 7 mo. old now). Best of luck to you!

6:59 PM  

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