32 and Counting....

I guess The Devil Wears Prada was a high stress movie for me because I had 5 contractions while viewing it. I am so irritated that I keep on having these damn things. The book, The Devil Wears Prada, was one of my junk reads while on bed rest. Maybe it was that I kept on saying, "Hey! That’s not how it is in the book!" I stressed myself out because the junky movie veers away from the junky book? That caused contractions? Even I know to acknowledge when a theory is grasping at straws. I came home and gave myself and stern talk about not blowing this high-risk pregnancy in the home stretch. I took it easy last night, and I am trying to take it easy today.

I had an OB appointment this morning. Without an ultrasound, it seemed so uneventful. Peri listened to the heartbeat, measured the belly and sent me on my way, no info on my cervix! I can’t believe “normal” preggos sometimes only have one ultrasound a pregnancy! Our appointment was even shorter because I spent no time negotiating bed rest. Why bother since I appear to hear things like “take it easy” as “go out everyday." Yes, no need to try to figure out what Peri means by "take it easy" when I know I am taking it easy by not walking on the outings, get it? I am clearly taking the bed rest reigns up myself, where they get filtered in my own mind. Next week we have no appointments. Weird. The week after, at 34 weeks, we have our last ultrasound of the pregnancy. If all is well, I will officially be off bed rest. And finally,a date is sheduled to take out the stitches. July 31st! I will be a little over 36 weeks.

I am feeling like I am entering this realm of "normal pregnancy" and I don't totally know how to manage it. I am so used to being high risk. I have one more OB appointment with Peri, and then she encouraged me to schedule some appointments with the midwives, or other providers since there is a high likelihood that someone else in the practice will be on call when I go into labor, "and you won't be high risk anymore." Huh? But I need special treatment!! Even though you are my jailer, I need YOU, Peri!! I can't have normal providers!! I am special.

I wonder if this means I should buy something for the baby. I hear about all these people whose nursery's are all completely done (I admit to engaging in some judgmental gossip as I heard about someone who hired a decorator for her baby's room) and I think that we'll be lucky if we buy what we need at minimum by the time I deliver. I don't know why I still have this aversion. It's like I have a fear that if I buy one thing for the little guy, something will go wrong. I did find a chapter about this phenomenon in my Pregnancy After a Loss book, so I know it happens. I really do intellectually understand that what I buy or don't buy for the baby will not actually have any bearing on what happens in terms of delivery, but the superstition will not go away. I am headed towards 33 weeks without even one baby sock. I keep telling myself that at 34 weeks I will start dealing with the basic needs. I am sure I will get there and think, "better make it 36." Let's hope I get that far.