Bad Blogger!

I am such a bad blogger! Bad me! I swear, in the haze of whatever it is I do all day--and I must say that I don't think I actually "do" anything, I have lost the will and the way to blog. Sometimes, I will be sitting around, spacing out in a sleep deprived haze, and I will think that I should blog, I sometimes even have the workings of an actual blog entry rumbling around my brain. You know, something witty and clever. But when I sit at the computer to make these rumblings come alive, I have that same expression I wear most of the day--the sleep deprived, spaced-out haze look. And that look is an outer sign to a very comatose version of myself. This new me is unable to put coherent sentences together, let alone witty and clever ones. In fact, now that I am writing this, I wonder, what do I do all day? Today I did not get out of my pajamas until 2pm.

When I would hear people talk about how they had trouble showering or even brushing their teeth with a newborn, I felt a little judgment. My first instinct was to think, really? I mean, REALLY? And even in the first few weeks of Quinn's life I still felt that way. I figured because of the lifestyle curtailment of bedrest, I was ahead of the game. I mean, I can MOVE because I am not pregnant anymore. I like that I can scurry instead of lumber up the stairs. And, with movement, I can also go on walks and visit people. I really thought, well this isn't so bad, what's all the brewhaha about??

Now that Quinn is approaching 6 weeks old, I am realizing that it was easy because he just slept all the time. He sleeps a lot still, but he has decided he only wants to sleep in my arms. Even now, at this very moment, I am able to type because of the grace of the sling. But take him out? Put him in the bassinet? Noooo sirreee that will not do. And the kid, because he is only 6 weeks old, gets a free pass in terms of doing what he wants for now. And he wants to be held. So, in holding him, I forego showering, brushing my teeth, getting dressed or blogging. What I do all day, I now undertsand as I gaze (in true space-cadet fashion) around the squaler of my house, is take care of my baby.