Still Baking

Two nights ago I woke up with a mother of a contraction at 5am. I woke up with so much "menstrual like pain" that my first thought was, "I need an epidural." Good to know that the natural childbirth fanatics of San Francisco haven't completely gotten to me. My wimpy self is still in place. My second thought was, "it's time!" I woke up the husband right away even though I had just felt one contraction, because, frankly, it really freaked me out--that level of intensity. I told him that I woke up with a contraction and that I think I had had some in my sleep before that one. We both decided to train our eyes on the clock by the bed and see when the next one would come. Then it was suddenly 9:30am and I woke up again. I guess that is a lot of time between contractions. Since then I have felt stirrings of cramps, plenty of braxton hicks, but nothing indicating that imminent labor is on the way.

Tomorrow we see a new provider. I am not feeling so good about that even though I know it is the right thing to "widen the net" of people to meet in the practice since I all but know Peri won't be at delivery. I think, in my twisted way, I became very attached to Peri and her controlling hands on support. I am high risk, damn it! A midwife? How will she understand the nature of my high risk pregnancy? Of course, all of my questions have to do with topics that are not high risk and very much in her scope of practice, but STILL. I feel like meeting a new provider at 38 1/2 weeks pregnant--it feels wrong somehow. But Peri told me to do it, and I do what Peri says. Despite my seemingly complicated relationship with her, I credit her for getting me here and as usual, Peri knows best.