Stitch Free

Yesterday I had my stitches removed! The whole thing was surprisingly easy. The worst part was all the waiting around, but when they got around to business, the whole procedure took about 5 minutes. It hurt, but not too badly, and like I said, it was over quickly. The stitches looked like twist ties. Weird. They sent me away for a few hours, and then checked me for signs of labor when I returned. Cervix is "very soft" but not open, and the baby is still high in my belly. I was sent home with a hearty "good job!" and a reminder to check kick counts daily until the signs of labor appear. I celebrated by walking the dog to the post office and back. My husband also treated me to a very nice dinner. One would think I might want to spend some energy preparing for my birth and new baby, which, theoretically, will happen anytime. See, but, no. These days it is all about "me me me." Take me to dinner, massage and whatever other pampering I can manage before I am giving my time and energy to the little one. I don’t have much time left!

I'm half kidding (only half). We have, finally, purchased some basics for when the little guy emerges. I realized that I was more stressed out not having anything than I was by the prospect of buying some things. It's amazing how your mind and body prepare you for life without you knowing. I probably shouldn't have wasted so much time worrying about when and whether we would buy. It was like one day it was too hard, and the next day it was not. But I know better than to think the change happened overnight. Something in me was working, under the conscious surface, at resolving some of this emotional stuff. Not to get to heavy, but I felt that way about the twins too. While it is still hard, there were moments when I was grieving where I understood somewhere that I was healing, but I can’t really point to what happened. I would have a moment of understanding, like walking on the beach on a cold foggy day. Something about that extreme nature, the ocean, so big and vast, it felt so much bigger than me and my life. I can’t say why, but it was healing. Oh boy! I guess I am being heavy. At any rate, I’m not sure why it was suddenly okay in the last few weeks to buy baby socks, but one day it was and so I did.

However, I do laugh when people talk about needing that "one last thing" for their fully operational nursery. When I say "basics" people, I mean it. We're talking a car seat, some clothes, a place to sleep and a stroller. Okay, okay. A little more than that--some blankets, a changing pad, but really not much at all. Should be interesting.....