The Power of the Ultrasound Tech

I was feeling extremely nervous about cervix check today because although the numbers were very close, it seemed my cervix was getting shorter in our last few ultrasounds. When my freakish anxiety gets going I play all sorts of games in my head about the pattern and the direction of things and ohmygosh I am only 22 weeks and all can go down hill really fast and was that a contraction?

So when I walked in today, I was more afraid of the funnel than ever. To make matters worse, the sonographer was HER! It was the same one I will never, ever forget. The one who performed the 19 week ultrasound last pregnancy that sent us straight to L&D for the emergency cerclage that never happened. It was her. And today I was in no mood for anything that could be perceived as a bad sign. Have I mentioned I already was in a near tizzy over...nothing?

The best case scenario in this pregnancy is that all this worry is without any need. I hope I put myself through all of this anguish when everything is just fine and dandy the whole time. I really hope I am overreacting at every worried turn. Yes, I will feel a little hard on myself for not being more relaxed, or having better faith in the cervix, my body and the little guy, but whatever. A few nights of worry are no match for a healthy baby boy.

I am happy to say that she redeemed herself today, she surely did. She measured the loved cervix at 3.8cm long and fully closed. I guess she doesn’t have the power to ruin my life like I thought!