Brother Fun

I have no time for blogging since I am so social and busy! Ha! Well, sort of. I have been entertaining family. My brother stayed through the weekend and we had our sad good-bye before sending him and my sister-in-law off to Europe on Monday. The actual good-bye wasn't sad, but knowing that he is not here when the big things happen is making me feel a bit alone here in California. He was there when we lost the girls, he was there was the cerclage was placed. It's not the day to day stuff; it's the knowing you have close family around for the big things.

But I hardly had time to be sad because another big brother arrived the following day. He is in town for business, and he kindly spent all afternoon with me yesterday, noting only once or twice that he is not sure how I manage lying about all day. We started the day animatedly chatting, had some lunch, and eventually fell into comfortable silences as we watched John Stuart on TIVO and surfed the internet. Even after this long day, the nice man stayed for dinner. I appreciate this especially because I know he could have begged off for a work event, and the truth is, staring at each other for 7 hours is not exactly stimulating.

As for the cervix, it is evidently heading my advice to act competently. Our ultrasound shows us still around 4cm long and closed. We hit 26 weeks tomorrow. I am starting to feel more secure, and noticed that at 24 weeks I felt a little shift in optimism that has, thankfully, remained. It seems my challenge is staying down (I do the best I can, but I shamefully admit getting up more than I should for the extra glass of water or snack) and making it through the next big milestones.

I am also starting to contemplate the idea that we might actually have a baby when this is all through. My goals have traditionally manifested themselves around getting through pregnancy. I am totally and utterly unprepared for parenthood--especially given that it could be a mere 10 weeks away that I am holding a baby. I suppose I should be glad I am able to even ponder it, maybe in a few more weeks I’ll actually act on this pondering.