I'm Fat

I work with a bunch of women on their first pregnancies. This is my third pregnancy in a pretty short period of time. This multiple pregnancy thing is my excuse for the gynormousness of my body and belly. These ladies, so young--they are mostly just reaching 30, and so pretty (what is it about medical residents--specifically pediatric residents? They’re all chipper and pretty and graduates of Ivy League schools and medical schools. I hate them.) They have that thing where you can't tell they’re pregnant until they are at least 5 months along. One if them is about 10 weeks ahead of me. When I was 14 weeks, our bellies were similarly sized. She was 24 weeks. Now at 22 weeks (yay!!) we are STILL (I think) similarly sized. I avoid the one with the same due date all together. How embarrassing. Everyone likes to point out how we are due the same day. After that, I think I note uncomfortable silence as they take in the difference in our sizes.

Side note: This mini rant I’m about to do is a post for another day, but it IS amazing how these bright young women are so clueless about some of the things they oh-so-confidently and insensitively spout to families. It’s amazing how differently the few who have children address parent’s concerns compared to those who don’t.

Peri gave me a talk last appointment, “you are a little off the curve.” I looked at her hopefully, “I should eat more?” She narrowed her eyes as if she doesn’t like to be played with, “not of the curve that way.” Then she went into this whole thing about not gaining weight so quickly and being careful. Peri happens to be overweight herself so I resisted saying, “why don’t YOU go on a diet??” Especially since I had lost all the excess between Quinn’s birth and this pregnancy. I mean, this is really a pregnant problem, not a me problem.

Thing is, I am just…SO HUNGRY. I used to go to restaurants and often crave salad (pre-pregnancy), now I routinely ask, “do fries come with that?” I am just an eater in pregnancy. I get really freakin' hungry every few hours. Actually, I’ve always been an eater, never one to really diet, but overall, it comes out okay. I feel fine when not growing a child. I exercise, eat pretty well and I don’t have to suffer like so many of my brethren with rigid eating and weird weight consciousness and attention. How exhausting.

Yes, really. There is just no way to make any adjustments anywhere. While that prior sentence is a bald face lie, I will admit it is very hard for me to “slow down”. The only thing I have managed to do is stop eating Milkeyways from the fully stocked candy bowel at work.

I think that’s plenty of effort. But can I still eat french fries AND still bitch and moan about how I hate being fat? Why yes. I decide yes. It's my blog and I'll cry if I want too:)