Problem of Fortune

I swore I would not complain about this issue because this situation truly is a problem of fortune. I recognize that. I do, I really, really do.

We were able to buy a small house in SF several years ago. An old, paint peeling off the walls, tile coming up off the bathroom floor, Victorian type SF house. When we moved in we said that we would do some "work" at some point. While not bad, the place needed a face-lift. We put our TV stand, a TV stand bought at a garage sale 10 years ago, in the corner of the living room. We declared, "this is just a temporary spot" on move in day. We saw the curtains leftover from the previous owners. "Ug" we said. “Those are horrible.”

Needless to say the TV stand with its hulking TV perched on top remains in it’s “temporary” spot, as do the gross curtains. There was never a point in redecorating because we knew the whole place needed a paint job and why design for this gross paint when we’ll need to change it anyway?

Soon after moving in I became pregnant. Then I was not pregnant. Then I was pregnant again a few months later. Then we were new parents. And finally, when Quinn was not quite a year old I became pregnant again. Here we are. This time we decided to try to deal with our house before becoming a family of 4. We probably started the process in September/October. Meaning, we started talking about what to realistically get done. Decisions were made and contractors blew us off. 5 contractor conversations and the holidays and holy shit it was late January but the project began.

I promised I wouldn't complain. After all, it is a problem of fortune to be able to repaint the interiors of your house and retile your bathroom. But then I learned we have lead paint in our old Victorian built over 100 years ago. And I observed even without lead paint a lot of chemicals are swirling around when people are “refurbishing” your old original doors (what is "bondo" anyway?) These smells gave pregnant mommy a headache and heart attack as I worried about my 17 month old child and my unborn child breathing in the fumes of our problem of fortune.

Our pediatrician took it in stride, noting that many a family has repainted an old Victorian in SF and they actually don't see many consequences if the painters ventilate properly. My beloved Peri said "get out of there. I don't want you breathing that air." My anxiety level alone meant we probably had to move for a bit. We knew it was a probability anyway given that in this problem of fortune we decided to redo our floors too.

I told myself NO COMPLAINING. A lot of people do not have the resources to do such nice work to a house and your house will be pretty and shiny when it is done.

We're living in a hovel!! I am 30 weeks pregnant and we moved into a dusty shitty in-law apartment some friends are gracious enough to let us rent. We are sharing a FULL size mattress. Our belongings are in boxes. I am hitting the third trimester fatigue and I am beside myself! We have a hundred decisions to make everyday about tile and paint color and insulation. And, in the meantime, I had to move all my belongings, maintain my job, be a mommy to a toddler and do it while hugely pregnant.

Who the hell thought this was a good idea to do in the last 10 weeks of pregnancy??? Pregnancy with a toddler?? A toddler you can't even pick up????? WHO?? WHO??? Oh, that's right. I did this to myself! I said to myself that if we didn't do it now, and then managed to have a newborn, the TV stand would stay the way it is for the next 5 years. It was just driving me insane. But now I realize that I must have been insane when I decided to do this.

Don't get me wrong, though. I am not complaining.