My Cerclage

In September 2005, I was pregnant with twin girls. I lost my pregnancy at 19 weeks apparently due to my "incompetent cervix." I became pregnant again and wrote all about it on this blog. I now have a wonderful son. Since bed rest, anxiety and cerclage were so much fun, I've decided to do it all again.....

Friday, May 16, 2008

Yay for Gay Marriage!

I haven't posted due to lack of motivation, exhaustion and fear that I might post something awfully negative and people might accuse me of not loving my new daughter. I do love her very much, and in fact she is pretty chill. Not colicky or anything. That said, I guess I blocked out what happens in "infant" world because for some reason I have reacted to the pain in the ass of breastfeeding every 2 to 3 hours 24 hours a day every day since they day she was born with no end in sight with shock that it's hard. I've never done well without sleep. Here I am again. Also my other sleep issues, the ones that are there baby or no baby don't help.

One way to get through this time, I’ve noticed, is finding dumb TV shows to download on my computer and watch. I watched 7 episodes of a show called Lipstick Jungle, and have now forayed into the world of Gossip Girl. It’s so bad, but it is so good. At night the husband and I have discovered The Wire. No shame there. At least I am reading good books again. Here's my last few: "Divisadero" by Michael Ondaatje, "Out Stealing Horses" by Per Petterson and "10 Days in the Hills" by Jane Smiley. I have to admit that last one was a little scintillating, but the woman won a Pulitzer, so she can write. Next up is "When We Were Orphans" by Kazuo Ishiguro. It really is better to read good writing. Every time I come out of a “light” reading phase, I wonder what I was thinking when such great writers are available to read.

Why am I writing all this when I wanted to write about how happy I am that my lovely progressive state has overturned the ban on Gay marriage!? Oh, right. I wanted to write something positive so that people won’t think I don’t love baby O. I am very psyched about this recent turn of current events. People talk about the "San Francisco bubble," meaning that when you live in such a liberal city, you are surprised when other places are more conservative. And it's true that happens. It’s weird.

Anyway, I don’t know what my point is exactly, except that I, for one, am glad my bubble is making national news. Yay for Gay marriage!

Monday, May 05, 2008

Two Weeks and Counting

Yesterday marked two weeks of Baby O as a family member. She's doing fine, and Quinn is handling the changes nicely. Daddy is taking care of everyone. I am taking care of O. I forgot that initial breastfeeding isn't like when they're 6 months and know how to plug themselves in during the night. You know, do it so that we both mostly sleep through it? Right now I am still trying to teach this little one that feeding lying down is the best way, but right now, she is only a master of the football hold.

The other thing is that, with Q, I remember feeding him and then passing him to the husband for diaper changes and for settling him back to sleep. But now that the husband is on full time toddler duty, and therefore toddler breakfast duty (actually, the husband has always done breakfast, great guy that he is), I feel more responsibility to take on the nighttime stuff since I know I can't deal with Q's morning routine and be up at night. That extra time, of changing the diaper and trying to settle her back down? It adds up to a lot less sleep.

These complaints are minor. I know we're lucky to be a zombified state of exhaustion because baby O is here. And honestly, despite all of this, including still recovering from the delivery and the sore boobs and other physical complaints, I am so glad I am not longer pregnant and I am so happy to have O. Just sleeping on my back is a miracle of miracles.

We woke up one morning to O squawking in her little crib in our room, and right as I got on my elbows to see what the fuss was about, Quinn overturned a laundry basket spreading dirty clothes all over. He then put the lightweight basket over his head giggling uncontrollably the whole time. As this was happening, Man's Best Friend decided she heard some prowlers and decided to bark her head off. It was 6am and the husband and I just started laughing.I think I said something about monkeys running the asylum.

I'm not complaining. This is what we signed up for.