My Cerclage

In September 2005, I was pregnant with twin girls. I lost my pregnancy at 19 weeks apparently due to my "incompetent cervix." I became pregnant again and wrote all about it on this blog. I now have a wonderful son. Since bed rest, anxiety and cerclage were so much fun, I've decided to do it all again.....

Monday, July 20, 2009

Hey, Don't I know You From Somewhere?

I practically have a photographic memory for faces. I guess. I don't know what the deal is, but I recognize people from various places all the time. Like when I see that same mom at the playground I saw at Walgreens a week ago, or that friend of a friend of a friend I met once two years ago. Or that guy I went to college with, and that guy and that girl, all SF residents who either don't recognize me or don't want to bother. Which is fine, I am not bothering either. What is annoying about this ability is that if it comes up, meaning, if I actually am the one who says, "Aren’t you friends with?" or "Did you go to __ College?" I deal with a puzzled "yes...?" and then me, “I recognize you. I'm ___" And because not every one has a memory for faces like mine, I usually get a sort of sometimes nice but sometimes are you a stalker response.

I have had 3 encounters with guys I went to college with recently that just make me feel like an asshole.

I met one guy at a party and we were actually sort of friends in college--or at least totally knew each other because we were on a group project together and had to talk on the phone a lot, and meet to study. It was freshman year, but still. I go through the thing, and he totally doesn’t remember me and his wife, right next to him is nice but also giving me the stink eye, like how do you know so much about my husband and he must have made an impression for you to have all this detail.

Again it happened at work, a new family came to clinic. I'm asked to see them because the mom has a history of depression and a new baby, so I am checking in to see how everyone is adjusting (you're more at risk for post partum depression with a depression history) when I look at dad, "hey! You look familiar." it clicks. Did you go to "__ College?" Again they are nice but act like I am a bit strange, plus; they probably felt vulnerable since I had all this info on them. But I mean well, I do.

The next week the husband and I are getting coffee and I mumble to husband about this hipster at the next table, "I went to college with that guy." Husband tells me to say hi, I say no, I've been seeing that guy around hipster coffee shops for years and I haven't bothered yet. Husband reminds me that I am friendly. "You are friendly. That’s your thing. Be friendly." But secretly, I have always thought this guy knew me too and that we give each other the nod and the acknowledgement that we both were never going to actually say hi. We weren't friends in college, why start now? So with the husband's prompting I say, "Did you go to __ College?" He says yes, I tell him me too that I recognize him, and he is not friendly at all! Again, I feel like an idiot, as if there is something special about this guy other than his totally recognizable face.

I know college was a long time ago, but I also know I don't looks so different I am unrecognizable!

We were at the farmer's market at the ferry building on Sat. I say to husband, there are those friends of friend's. He's all, who? I say, you know the ones our mutual friends carpool with, she's an attorney, and he switched careers to finance. He was an engineer. They have 4 kids; we met them that one time? And then the husband is off and running with the awkward, "Do you know __ and ___?" The guy has the paralyzed suspicious face, "yes." he was friendly enough, but, sometimes it feels like more work than it's worth. On that day I also saw the parent who was giving "info" at one of the pre-schools we visited a year ago, another family who I see all the time in our neighborhood, and a resident who worked at my clinic for 1 month 2 years ago.

I can’t wait for the day that someone comes up to me and says, "Hey! Aren’t you..." I will simply combust with relief. And I will be nice, and very friendly. I admit this talent comes in handy for my work, but overall, it is just sort of annoying. I mean, I could go on and on. I have about 6 other stories on the tip of my tongue!

I'm going to end on a good note, because I am feeling a bit whiny in this post. I admit that this trick has resulted in some very nice friendships and nice mom encounters on the playground.

Fine, I wouldn't give it up given the chance.

Monday, July 13, 2009

The Joy of Parenting--No Really!

I was going to write about Q's tantrums and the fact that if I didn't know anything about child development, I would swear he has an obsessive compulsive disorder he is so picky about every. Little. Thing. He wants it all just so and if it isn't just so? Tantrum! I know that he is trying to be independent from me and that developmentally it is a good thing, his effort at trying to control his little world. I have to be wily to figure out to make him think he wants what I want, but I'm up for it. He's no match for my mental gymnastics! I kid. He's totally more wily than me and it's really annoying. But, wait. I wasn’t actually going to write about this. I was going to write something positive about how freakin' funny he is lately, too.

Yesterday, we were in a "hike" in the park near our house when, "Mommy?" "Yes?" "I have a secret." "O.K. Do you want to wisper it in my ear?" He considered. His head was cocked to the side as if weighing his options. He finally nodded in CEO fashion, like we've decided to shake on a deal--one swift nod. I'm surprised I didn't see the sides of his mouth pull down in satisfaction. I put my head near his ear and he said in a loud whisper, “When you poop you get M&M's." But it came out "enimen's." After giggling a little, I acknowledged that a poop IN THE POTTY does surely result in two M&M's. He paused, nodded again and continued walking.

Monday, July 06, 2009

Growing, Growing, Growing

I knnnowww. It's been so long. I miss you blog. When did you start to become a chore? I am at work again. Like most moral lapses, it's easier the second time around. This time it is bad too because I actually have a lot of charting to do and phone calls to make and yet. Here I am.

I just had lunch with some colleagues and after a not so subtle ("will you please just update your blog??") request from a friend to blog again, I've decided to dedicate my hard working hours to this post.

Except I have nothing to say. I'm so so boring. Ok my kids. Oh my god I love them so much. Gush gush gush! The problem is its too daunting to describe their impossible beauty and overall amazingness, and trying to touch those things in any way just feels so inadequate. Perhaps I could do better than "I love my kids, gush gush gush." But probably not much better.

I will say, shortly, that baby O is now nearly 15 month old. Q will be 3 in August. They're turning!! I've even had a few glimpses of them ganging up against me. Like when I gave Q a time out for hitting me (another post). O looked at me like I was insane, and also like I betrayed her by removing her play buddy. She ran to the door of the room where I had (very gently:) put Q for his time out and began pounding on the door and screaming. In between yells, she'd look at me with a murderous, impatient and adorable expression that basically said, "Why are you ruining my buzz?" Quinn was inside also yelling, "I don't want a time out!!" That was awesome.

Another peas in the pod moment was when they took all the clothes out of the laundry basket and gleefully threw them, one article at a time, down the stairs. The baby gate at the top of the stairs was up and I was in the other room (what? I could hear them) and I heard hysterical giggling and pitter pattering of little feet back and forth. I realized that they were just too happy and were most likely deep in mischief, but once I investigated, I couldn’t help laughing at their pride as they demonstrated their well worn path from laundry basket to stairwell. I really don’t think this event would be filled with such glee if they didn’t have each other to egg on.

They for sure have their moments (sharing? What?) and they often fight for my attention, but a new exciting pattern of friendship is emerging. It really is satisfying. It is what you hope for when you have a second. You know, that they lurve each other. So while I am scared for my future—if they can do this now, what do I have in store? I am also so happy to see them bond.

I suppose there was a post in me after all. It's almost like I have a mommy blog.