My Cerclage

In September 2005, I was pregnant with twin girls. I lost my pregnancy at 19 weeks apparently due to my "incompetent cervix." I became pregnant again and wrote all about it on this blog. I now have a wonderful son. Since bed rest, anxiety and cerclage were so much fun, I've decided to do it all again.....

Friday, June 22, 2007

Nap Strike

The bottle issue resolved, and now I am so freaked out about it happening again I am considering weaning. Sounds like extreme measures, I know. You see, the whole bottle thing happened because I thought I was drying up after a particularly busy week at work where I only pumped once a day for 3 days. After that, there was the sickness and the feeding round the clock, plus extra pumping at night to boost the production. This glorious time peaked with the bottle strike. That finally ended (thanks to the husband getting up at the crack of dawn and offering the bottle when baby is most hungry).

Fast forward to my current situation. Again, I’ve hardly pumped at work this week, and I refuse to go through what we went through before. I had the nanny feed half breast milk and half formula. The kid had formula! And he likes it just fine. I did not pump at night to makeup for the extra lack of milk my one pump a day brings home. A relief. He is also so much wigglier so breastfeeding is becoming a huge pain anyway. Still, I have that little voice telling me I was going to exclusively breastfeed for the first year. It's not like I can't do it.... it’s like maybe I won’t do it? The breastfeeding crazies will hopefully avoid throwing bottles at me as I walk down the street and say how I am a failure as a mother. And all this angst while I am STILL breastfeeding! I am just adding formula now, too. It’s only two months till 1 years old!! I am crazy.

Speaking of crazies, I was forced to read Weissbluth again because baby stopped napping in the name of development. He pulls up to stand in the crib now. And the naps, oh lord the lovely naps. They went flying out the window. He is happy lying down when mommy is standing above him cooing, but when tired mommy starts to leave, he rolls over and sits up before said tired mommy has even left the room. It's pretty cute, actually. I have come back a few times to have baby standing up with his tomato red face screaming. His chubby little baby legs look so totally edible. I don't like to see him suffer, but it is really cute. It is.

Weissbluth is a certifiable sleep Nazi. After reading a chapter, I feel sure to win worst mommy of the year for going into soothe him because of my guilt. Weissbluth wants to know, is it to make baby feel better or is it to make mommy feel better??? He says let him cry, let him cry let him cry, for god sake woman, let him cry. Baby needs to learn to sooth himself! (I do confess to some CIO scenarios earlier in little Q's life, and I didn’t blog about it for fear of the mean comments--it did work and it was short lived.)

I didn't like what Weissbluth had to say so I picked up trusty Dr.Sears. If anyone will disagree with mean old Weissbluth its warm fuzzy Dr. Sears. It is true he disagrees, but he also makes one feel a wee bit inadequate for total opposite reasons. Baby needs to know that his needs are being met. He says, do not do any CIO! It's bad for babies. Instead, take a nap with baby in the family bed! He'll get the message that it is sleep time eventually.

Uh. No, thank you. I do not want the only way he naps to be when I am there. No! So....I let him cry for 1 horrible hour today ala Weissbluth (please no mean comments! Please!) I finally went in, rushed in, really. Baby smiled at me and said, the way he says it, "let's play!" I grabbed him. We went for a walk where baby promptly fell asleep in the stroller for an hour and a half. Weissbluth would NOT approve. Now I have made my son suffer an hour of unneeded crying, only to fold with the stroller nap so he knows for sure there is no reason to sleep in the crib.

I am so tired.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Hunger Strike

What with the sickness and the Memorial Day, baby got a lot of round the clock boob the last few weeks. Last Tuesday, the one-day I worked and his first day back to the bottle, he decided to say, "I'm not settling for second best!" He refused the bottle all day. He only ingested milk when it was cereal, with breast milk as a sauce.

Tomorrow I go back to work for 3 days. Baby is sticking to his guns. Up to this point, I have caved for the benefit of his nutrition and given him the boob when he refuses the bottle from Dad. I even left the house for hours when I knew he was hungry to let my husband work it out. We have purchased multiple nipples and sippy cups. I even tried to feed him the bottle. Baby says, “blech!” to our efforts.

The hunger protest starts in earnest tomorrow when mama goes to work. Let's hope he folds. We're willing to negotiate and give into many of his demands. He can have boob first thing! We’re willing again around 5:30, and AGAIN at bedtime before sleep (even though that last one is hardly a feeding). His only response? "Listen, Jerkies! It's the boob and only the boob!" He doesn't appear to want to compromise. Mama is a little stressed. Baby needs to eat!